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Dear Diary

April 4, 2019 (2)

Dear Diary,

Man, what a day today! I finally fell asleep at 6 AM..woke up at 1 PM. I've felt like shit all day long and I wasn't able to get on cam 😔 
I'm going to be so happy when I fall asleep. I'm in bed now..it's 11:01 PM CT. I'm super worried about tomorrow morning. I'm getting x-rays done on my teeth so I can finally get my teeth fixed. One of them is chipped, I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out at the end of the month, and I have to start paying for aligners every month. $2000 out of my pocket tomorrow morning. 
All I'm going to be dreaming about is crying when I hand over that cash lol I've never spent that much on one thing. 
Currently, my epilepsy is taking a toll on me. I have a migraine, I'm nauseous, and all of my joints and muscles feel like they have been a punching bag to a WWE fighter. Pray for me 🙏

-xoxo, Alexa ❤️

April 4, 2019

Dear Diary, 

I finally did something today that I've been wanting to do for a long time! I made Epilepsy Awareness t-shirts to spread the word worldwide! I'm tired of this damn disease. It's time for a cure. 
If you've already talked to me and gotten to know me a little bit on a personal level, you know that I suffer with epilepsy and my life is not as easy as everyone else's. I can't drive. I can't work a real job. I am hospitalized every other week. I can barely eat most of the time. 
I try to be like everyone else. You would never know I was sick if I didn't tell you..unless you question why I'm in the hospital all the time. 
I did pretty good today, but I ended up with a headache after cleaning my pool and spending some time relaxing in the sun. Normally caffeine helps, but it didn't today. Of course, medication was my last resort. Taking a million pills a day gets annoying, but I guess that's the way I'm forced to live my life. It's now 4:39 AM and I'm wide awake. I can't fall asleep every night unless I take sleeping medication. Just another great side effect of my illness. 
Talking to everyone on MFC helps me feel normal. I don't have a social life, so this is my substitute. Sure, it pays the bills..but I wouldn't be able to feel sane if I didn't have these wonderful people. The only way I get through school and medical stress is my online double life. I'm so grateful to have you all. 

-xoxo,  Alexa

March 29-2019

Dear diary, 

This is my first online "diary" post, but I write in my journal every day. Usually, it's about my medical condition or just me ranting. 
Today has been awful. I stayed up last night until 3 AM on MFC and then got woken up at 7 AM by my little monster because he was hungry.  I could barely keep my eyes open all day. All I wanted was a nap, but that isn't possible when he's home. Here I am, at 11:30 PM, still awake. My eyes are literally dragging and fighting to stay open. Hopefully, I'm not that kind of tired where I can't fall asleep because I'm overly exhausted. 
I felt okay today. I only had a little bit of cramping, because of Aunt Flow, and a headache. That's a LOT better than most of my days! I spend nearly every day in cringing pain because of my chronic migraines..on top of my seizures. 
I love being able to come here and escape from my horrible reality. Sometimes, people on here actually care how you're doing and like to make me smile. Even though, it does make me feel good knowing I'm making them happy without even trying 😉 
Currently, I'm watching the Fosters and one of my cats is laying on me cleaning herself. My monster is snoring and I'm so tempted to stick plugs in his nostrils! LOL
I'm hoping that tomorrow is better and I'm able to be online all day! Mama has bills to pay and I need some smiles! 
If anyone actually read this, let me know if you think writing a "Dear Diary" every day will be beneficial to my profile! I want to feel closer to my audience and my friends. Since I don't have much time to chat with you all during my online cam time, I want you to be able to get to know me any way possible! 

-xoxo, Alexa ❤️